Musings

It's been about three years since I've posted anything here. I check it a lot to see what I can find in some of the communities but I never put anything down. I realized over the last few weeks that while I still love insane journal and it will continue to be my RP home and also a place where some of my more personal entries might end up, this is going to be my place for talking about books, movies, TV, fandom and whatnot. I could write it all on tumbr but I feel safer here since I have some control over who's reading it and I can get pretty self conscious about my writing and also about my opinions. Which is really dumb seeing as opinions are my own and I should care what anyone else thinks. Unfortunately I do so anyway, this is me. Enjoy the ride.

She stands alone on the hill, looking out over the city below. This place has been her home for more years than she cares to remember but soon she will be leaving it. Part of her is glad for there are too many memories here, memories both good and bad, memories that will fade with time and some that will never fade no matter how much she wishes they would. The decision to leave was not an easy one. There were plenty of other options that she could have chosen but when all was said and done, she knew there was only one choice to make.

Above all else, she had to protect him. Even if he wouldn't want her to, even if he would have insisted that she stay, that they face this together. No, she couldn't let him do that, couldn't let him throw away what he had worked his enitre life to build. Not for her. She loved him, she would always love him but this had to be done. It was best for both of them. She shakes her head and reaches up to wipe away a tear. It's not just the two of them though. There's someone else to consider and she takes her tear stained hand and rests it on her abdomen. "Someday we'll come back here," she whispers. "and I'll show you this place and I'll tell you all about it but we can't be here right now. I hope you'll understand why I'm doing this when the time comes and I tell you this story."

She gives a sigh and turns to go. Her appointment is in an hour and she can't show up looking like she's been crying. Her friend knows her too well for that. No, she has to stop by her apartment, wash her face, change into a clean uniform and walk into Starfleet Headquarters as if she owned the place. No one will suspect that she's carrying a secret, no one will guess that she's come to say goodbye, no one will know that she's made the hardest decision of her life.

No one will ever know.


( Read more... )